He Loved Her
by edwards-angel22
Summary: Tonks had always been Charlie's best friend. He didn't dare tell her that he wanted more than that. Rated for some language and violence. DH spoilers


**A/N- My view on how Charlie feels about Tonks**

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Charlie Weasley could still remember the first time he laid eyes on Nymphadora Tonks. She was a clumsy first year with feet too big for her skinny legs. Everyone stared at her because she had a head of fruity pink hair beneath a colorful knit hat, but the way she held herself told everyone that she didn't care what they thought of her. Her tall posture was accentuated by the jaw and sparkling black eyes both set in determination.

The rest of the new first years looked terrified to their very core. Charlie knew that he must have been giving off that appearance himself, he could feel his own hands shaking in the pockets of his new robes (or at least some of Bill's old ones, which were far too big for him) as they were led into the Great Hall. All conversation at the long tables ceased. Hundreds, maybe thousands of eyes turned to stare at the newcomers with interest. Charlie glanced once more at the pink-haired stranger. She noticed his eyes on her, but instead of turning away, she offered him a friendly wink. It was a quick gesture, but the kind that said, "It's ok. I'm nice."

He smiled tentatively at her, already feeling a little less anxious. The group slowly advanced toward the front, where a tattered brown hat lay in wait. Just as Bill had told Charlie, it sat up straight and belted out a tune of all the different houses and how it held the knowledge and power to sort you into the correct one. When it was finished, everyone erupted into stunned applause. It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down afterwards. Charlie watched warily as McGonagall called a name from the long sheet of parchment clutched in her bony hand.

"Amos, Olin!"

Olin Amos made his way to the front of the room, Charlie could see him shaking as he plopped down into the stool at the front of the room and had the hat placed upon his head. It slid down over his eyes, and a few older boys at a nearby table sniggered.

A few silent seconds passed. And suddenly, without warning, the hat stood up tall and screamed "HUFFLEPUFF!" in a voice that practically shook the room. McGonagall pulled the hat from Olin's head and directed him to one of the center tables, which he scrambled over to and sat down.

This went on for quite a while. The endless calling of names. Faces of scared and innocent first-years loomed like candle fire at the front of the room as they received their destiny for the next 7 years.

After what seemed like forever, the headmistress called "Tonks, Nymphadora!" from the sheet of paper. Charlie didn't realize that this was the name of the pink-haired girl until she was halfway to the front of the room, she walked without a care or concern until she tripped over a bench leg from the Gryffindor table and nearly fell flat on her face. Despite the uproarious laughter of some other students, she stood, dusted herself off, and carried on happily. When the hat was placed over her fluorescent hair (had it changed to a slightly more purple color?) it called out "HUFFLEPUFF" once more. She stood and trotted over to her new housemates, plopping down in an empty seat.

"Weasley, Charlie!"

Charlie felt his knees buckle. This was his moment of truth, something he had been dreading for a terribly long time. He swallowed and licked his lips as he timidly approached the front of the room and perched on the chair there. He heard Bill wolf-whistle and the crowd chuckle appreciatively.

For a moment, every single eye in that room was staring at him. And then he went blind as the thick moth-eaten cloth of the Sorting Hat fell over his own eyes.

"You're a Weasley." He heard it mutter very quietly, as if it were actually inside of his head, one of his thoughts, and just as he was wondering if that was actually possible, he heard the hat bellow. "GRYFFINDOR!" at the top of it's lungs.

A huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. Grinning, he made his way over to the seat that Bill had saved for him and collapsed beside his older brother.

"Brilliant, Char!" That was Frankie, a friend of theirs who they had spent many summer days with in their makeshift Quidditch field. Bill tousled Charlie's hair so that it stuck up quite horribly on end.

"Thanks." he muttered, attempting to smooth it down with his hands. The trembling in his fingers was rapidly subsiding.

"You know, Charlie." Frankie said after a minute or so had passed. "There's a lovely girl just behind where you're sitting and I think she fancies a word with you."

Charlie looked at him quizzically, then followed his gaze to see that Nymphadora was waiting patiently behind him with her arms behind her back. She withdrew one and extended a hand.

"Hi, Charlie. I'm Tonks."

"Not Nymphadora?" He asked.

"Not Nymphadora." She confirmed, winking like she had before.

She had a very warm quality to her, something that was shamelessly forthcoming and bold, and he knew that this handshake was a silent request for his friendship. So what if they were in different houses? Charlie liked this new person a lot already. He took her hand in his and shook it, deciding then and there to be her friend.

And that was probably the best decision Charlie ever made.

~ ~ * ~ ~

It was amazing how quickly seven years could pass. The first two years were the easiest, as they didn't get as much homework. They spent their weekends writing stories, building stick-forts down by Hagrid's Hut, seeking fairies among fireflies in the spring and having snowball fights in the winter. While Bill had always been Charlie's single best friend, he soon found that he could trust and confide in Tonks in the same way. A lot of people thought they were strange because they were just one girl and just one guy who were constantly together. Bill and his friends sometimes joined them but were often more busy writing essays and doing bookwork or just hanging out around the Great Lake, cracking jokes and looking suave for the pretty girls.

Charlie loved the fact that Tonks was a metamorphmagus, loved the fact that she could change her hair color and length and her age and even take on Charlie's appearance so that it appeared he had a twin. It was nice to pretend that sometimes as he had secretly always envied Fred and George. While he and Bill shared a similar relationship, he had always been fascinated by the way the twins were able to fool their own mum into thinking one was the other.

In third year they started going to Hogsmeade. Once they snuck off to the Shrieking Shack together to see how creepy it really was. They didn't get caught, but they were terrified of the squeaking floorboards and ominous shadows that loomed against the walls. They spent the most part of the time clinging nervously to each other's arms and cringing at every noise that they didn't recognize. By the time they got out of there they were both giggling for acting so silly, but didn't make any plans to go back.

Fourth and fifth year they started to get rebellious. While Percy was busy with his nose buried in a library book, Tonks would take his appearance, which made it easy for Charlie to sneak her into the common room late at night. Occasionally Percy would get locked out as the Fat Lady would claim that he had already passed through earlier in the evening. This normally wouldn't end very well, and it resulted in Bill having to go out and rescue him. Meanwhile, Charlie and Tonks would hide over in the corner of the room that was protected by scarves and coats and Gryffindor flags, talking about the teachers behind their backs and the big plans they had for when they got out of school. You had to admire them both, because they were some of the only people who managed to follow their dreams.

In their sixth year, Bill left. So did all his friends. He had to leave because it was his time to graduate, and before Charlie could bat an eye his brother had taken off to explore Egyptian pyramids and only return to bring them souvenirs and traveler's stories. The next time Charlie saw Bill, he had pierced an ear and grown a shadow of a goatee.

His last couple years were difficult, for this and other reasons, but it only pushed him harder to finish school and go off to Romania, to gather his thoughts and run away himself. Tonks was there for him every step of the way, despite the fact that she was caught up in her own struggles of trying to become an Auror. Meanwhile, she had grown into her once-oversized feet and developed quite a feminine aura. And even though she would always be Charlie's best buddy, he found himself feeling different whenever he saw her out with another man. It was a sort of panging jealousy.

"It's just because she's acting friendly with another guy." he'd think. "I don't love her…. Why did I even think that just now…. It's because she's supposed to be MY best friend and I'm supposed to be the most important guy in her life no matter what".

But another voice, probably a wiser one, told him that wasn't true. That there was another reason that he was obviously denying for feeling this way.

When it came down to it, he loved every quality about Tonks. He loved her neon hair that brightened his day like fresh sunlight. He loved the mischievous half-smile she would cast him halfway through Potions when Snape had his back turned. He loved how she could trip over just about anything, even thin air. He included her in his prayer every year at Thanksgiving in the list of things he was grateful for. He pulled together the money to buy her the best gifts he could think of on her birthday, and she did the same for him. On the few occasions when she cried, whether it was over family problems or something else, he would sit out on the Astronomy tower with her and put his arms around her in a way that only a best friend could, listening to everything that ailed her. He cried just once, after Bill left and there were problems at his Dad's work, and everything else was making his grades slip. She held his hand and cheered him into a far better mood, beyond that she helped him study and reminded him of any extra credit assignments. Thanks to her, he passed with flying colors that year.

At their graduation, he lifted her onto his shoulders and spun her in circles. She laughed and held her arms in the air, and when he set her down, Ginny and Ron ran up and threw their arms around her. They had grown accustomed to her, and they loved her like a big sister. Bill came to graduation that year and even stayed for a week afterward to help Charlie devise his plan for after school.

When he went to Romania, Tonks visited him. When she became an Auror her visits became fewer and farther between. But she wrote him letters almost everyday and sometimes surprised him on his birthday or Christmas.

Years flew by much sooner than they had in his school years. Tonks arrived in his doorway one day and announced proudly that she was in love. For a moment his heart soared, for some crazy reason he thought that maybe she meant she was in love with him. But it was Remus Lupin, someone who his whole family respected greatly. He was a friend of theirs, and Charlie had hardly seen it coming. Tonks hadn't breathed a word to him last year when she was so smitten with him. And suddenly, she and Lupin got married. Charlie was the only one invited to the wedding who wasn't a family member. There were only 6 other people there. There was a beautiful turquoise-haired baby in her arms the next time the met. Charlie didn't know it then, but it would also be the last time they met.

~ ~ * ~ ~

Soon it was nearly time for Charlie's youngest brother to graduate, but Ron's big heart and loyalty to his own best friend made him choose otherwise. Their trio went gallivanting off that year to find the Horcruxes and defeat Voldemort. They were all behind Ron, even though it took him a long time to accept that. He depended on Bill that year and ended up a few times at his house, once with an unconscious Hermione and a dead house-elf. He didn't want Bill to tell the rest of the family that he'd been there. And because Bill has the good heart that he does, he respected that. He told Charlie though.

The Hogwarts battle was that year. Charlie got there late, after Fred had died. Bill appeared in the fire, actually crying, and told him to floo over to the school. When he did, everything was hectic.

He killed a lot of people, he was pretty sure. He and Percy went after Rookwood together after he'd learned of Fred's death, Rookwood being the suspected culprit. Everything was broken, and he kept telling himself that it was all a bad dream and soon he'd wake up.

It had to be a bad dream though, because when he had a moment to disappear into the Great Hall to see Fred again, there were too many dead to count. The only other living person in the room was George, and he was too grief-stricken to fight. Charlie was glad then that he had never really been a twin. That pain, he knew, must have been unbearable. To have half your soul ripped in two and discarded like trash. He knelt beside his younger brother on the ground and cupped Fred's face with one hand. It was cold and still. But he was smiling.

"I'm sorry, Georgie…" Charlie whispered. George put his face in his hands and began to cry softly.

"W-we lost too many people already…" he said shakily. "And we lost F-Fred…"

Charlie put a hand on the back of George's head and rubbed it. "Who else?" he asked.

George pulled his sleeve across his eyes and pointed a shaking finger against the back wall. Charlie sat with him for a few moments until he was steady again before standing and drifting over to the wall that George had indicated. There was Colin Creevey, who had taken part in a journalist class over the summer. Colin had interviewed Charlie once about his work. The interview was in a newspaper.

Then he saw Lupin. He almost cried out. Lupin had been a dear friend to him, and he could only imagine how heartbroken Tonks must have been. She was lying beside him, sleeping. Poor girl. Charlie contemplated waking her up, and decided that it was best. She needed him then.

He shook her shoulder, but that didn't work. He said her name softly. No response. She looked dead, but Tonks couldn't be dead. That was unthinkable. No, she was just sleeping and she needed to wake up so that she knew he was here… panicked, he grabbed both of her shoulders and made her wobble a bit, increasing the force of which he was shaking her until she was flopping off the ground, he noticed that her eyes were open a bit but she wasn't awake. Because she was really, really dead.

He let out a loud and anguished sob. She's just had a child, she couldn't die. Not now. She was too young, too beautiful, she was his best friend and he didn't think he could bear to lose that. He crumpled at her side and held her cold, tiny hand in his, hot tears fell down his face and obscured his vision as he gazed down at her. She looked so peaceful and innocent, like she hadn't known what was coming. She probably didn't.

He remembered their Valentine's day dance forever ago. They had gone together, and she had worn a peachy colored dress and her loosely tied hair had been a golden color that night. He thought maybe that was the first time he realized how much he loved her. Loved her still. Always would.

And then there was a strong pair of hands on his shoulders, pulling him up off the ground. He regained stability. He almost threw up.

"Bill… how did she die?" he asked hoarsely.

"Avada Kedavra. They went together." Bill murmured. "It didn't hurt them."

For a moment Charlie was silent. And then, "But I loved her, damn it…. And I never told her."

"She knew." Bill whispered. "I think she loved you too. But you guys were such perfect friends-""- I WANTED MORE THAN THAT! BEING HER FRIEND WASN'T ENOUGH!" He started to sink to the ground again, sobbing in defeat. Bill went with him and held him as they sat on the ground beside her beautiful, lifeless form.

Later that night, Charlie got drunk and went down to the Shrieking Shack. It wasn't as scary as he remembered. But it was a whole hell of a lot emptier. When it came down to it, he would have given his life for hers. He wished he had been there earlier to do so, wished desperately for childhood days wasted on fireflies and bed sheet tents and firecrackers in the heat of summer nights. There was no one in this world that he could ever love like he had loved her. There was no one else who he would ever sing in front of. No one else who he would ever dance with. No one else who he would sneak into the Gryffindor common room, even if it was too late for that anyway. Because there was no one else like her.

Charlie never married. Never loved another woman. He kept pictures of Tonks at work, pasted all around his walls. Bought expensive flowers for her grave on her birthday. Talked to her when he was alone, kept her updated. And above all else, he forever continued to do the one thing that he was sure he had done since he had first laid eyes on the resolute, awkward, beautiful 1st year when he was just 11 years old.

He loved her. And he always would.

_If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi_

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**A/N: So this is my first story I'm posting on here. It was just something I came up with the other night at about 3am and I decided to type it up and put it on here. I know it's not the most amazing thing in the world but take it easy on me, I was half-asleep when I was writing this. R/R if you liked it or if you have any helpful hints for me! Thanks!**

**P.S. I'm not sure if Charlie gradutated or not. I heard that he left the year before Ron started school and then I heard something about him dropping out to go off to Romania. So if you know anything about that, let me know for future reference!**


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